Pop It!

Okay okay okay. The subject is Poppers.

Yes, they take what would just be a boring old orgasm to a meditative, cosmic experience out of this planet. Seriously. The poppers heighten the orgasm and next thing you know, you feel like you're connected to the entire planet.

If you don't already know it, a few sniffs of poppers makes your sphincter open up to lengths and thicknesses you once could only dream of. It makes impossibly-sized dicks and dildos completely feasible AND deliciously soothing. In short, it makes your ass hungry. Ladies, if your man wants to do you in the butt and you're afraid of the pain, trust the gay boys on this--wrap your nostril around a bottle of popperliciousness and sniff your way to anal heaven.

And then there are the visions. Goddamn those poppers make sex out of this world. It's the closest thing to sex on Ecstacy, not that I would know about such things. One of my favorite popper-fuck visions came when I was doing myself in the ass with a nice long dildo. I was feeling the popper-high and pounding my ass, and I had a smile on my face from ear to ear. As I orgasmed, I felt my soul reach out of my body as though it was a mass of lithe roots, writhing and pulsating. The roots merged with all the roots of all the trees in the earth. Together this mass of tangled roots gave birth to every plant and flower. And I could feel in my gut the longing a plant feels for the sun, and the happiness that comes with absorbing its rays.

Have I ever had an orgasm like that sober? No. But I've come close. The trick to amazing SOBER orgasms is in the breathing. The problem with breathing-centered orgasms is that if you're with somebody who is not into focused breathing and meditation, then you're not gonna get far. It's easier when you're having sex with another person to just snort the poppers and get the "out of this world" sensation. The breathing-centered orgasm is easiest, I find, by myself.

Now, if any hot yoga papi out there wants to take me on for some au naturel tantric sex, bring it on, baby, just leave me your email and let's chat it up.

My brand of choice for poppers, by the way, is Jungle Juice Platinum. It goes straight to my ass.

Wanna know a little more about poppers? Do a fucking google search, you lazy ass! Or you can click here to start your research.

Less Great Lakes

Last week I posted about the drought in the south and how it's shrinking Lake Lanier, the principle water source for metro Atlanta, which has about 3 months of drinking water left. Buy stock in Evian NOW!

The Great Lakes, no surprise, are also shrinking. The culprit? You guessed it: drought. Less rain AND less snow affects the water levels in all the Great Lakes. In turn, lower water levels increase the cost of commerce. Cargo ships navigating through the lakes have had to reduce the amount of cargo they carry or risk getting their bottoms stuck in the muck. Each individual ship carries less, so MORE ships are being added in order to carry the leftover cargo. At the end of the day, consumers will be paying for the extra shipping costs.

It's not just mother nature, people, it's us. There's too many of us, draining too much water, and causing too much damage to the climate system. Fight for change: buy local products made close to home and of course, VOTE for candidates who, unlike Mr. Bush Baby, give a shit about our natural resources.

Source: New York Times online

Masturbating Tip

This one's just for the guys. Forget about the full-handed jack-off. This minimalist masturbation technique is sure to get your eyeballs rolling to the moon.

The head at the end of your shaft--that's the glans. It's full of nerve endings. Some areas of the glans are more sensitive than others, but for most guys the tippy top of the penis is the MOST packed with orgasmolicious nerve endings.

So, grab your dick tips and lets begin.

Give yourself 30 minutes or more to spend on self-pleasure.

Get yourself nice and hard--NOT by touching your penis. You can look at porn, fantasize, read a dirty novel, look at the neighbor sunbathing next door--just NO touching, not until you're already hard. This part's important because it makes the dick tip super sensitive.

Then, once you're there, you stimulate ONLY the very tip of your dick. That would be the area right around the urethra. Play with it using a light touch at first. Figure out if you're more sensitive around the hole, below the hole, to one side of the hole. But you can only stimulate that spot. Use your finger tip. Rub, pat, tap, even pinch the tip of your dick. Try different speeds of stimulation. Hold your shaft if you need to but only in order to keep your dick steady while you stimulate the tip. NO STROKING.

Done right, this will drive you insane with pleasure and will allow you to get very close to orgasm without actually coming. Not that you WON'T come at all, I mean eventually you probably will. But don't fret if you don't at first, just commit to at least 10 minutes of dick tip stimulation before you move to stroking your shaft.

For those overachievers out there--see if you can make yourself come just by stimulating the tip--it's a wild and amazing ride. I personally can only rarely make it all the way without grabbing my shaft and jus going at it. The pleasure is sometimes too intense and I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't blow my load, so I give in and go to the finish line. But I have to say, I never looked at masturbating the same way when I tried this technique.

Hope you like it.

How To Tame Your Toddler

Here's what young papa taught me today on the 7 train about parenting.

His lil' twit was sitting next to me kicking and flailing for papa to give him a sugary Starburst square. He screamed and cried until papa started opening the package. Then he screamed and kicked cuz papa was taking too long. Then papa gave him a treat and lil' twit cooed with delight.

A few chewy minutes later he started to scream and cry (although does it count if there aren't tears?). Then papa opened another candy and popped it in his son's mouth and lil' poopie chewed away with glee.

Then little poopie was done. So he started to play with the strap on papa's coat. Papa noticed and moved his coat out of reach so lil' plop fart wailed in pain and papa gave him his very own, un-opened treat. But lil' plop fart couldn't open the treat fast enough so papa took it away and lil' plop fart yelled and cried and screamed and kicked as papa opened the candy wrapper. Finally papa popped a sugary square into lil' cavityhead's mouth and all was well again.

The moral of the story? Give kids candy and they'll shut up. Remember the plant from Lil' Shop of Horrors? That's what a kid is like. You appease it by giving it what it wants.....

Just don't run out of candy.....(and as a sidebar: what a damn racist movie/musical this is! I mean come on, evil Black plant from outerspace? Okay...)

Atlanta Prays for Hurricane

At this point, a sloppy, wet hurricane would be a welcome sight in Atlanta, Georgia. The city has got 3-4 months of water left. Yup. You read right. They're undergoing a drought so bad that if no rain comes (and fall/winter is the dry season down there, so...) then the whole town will be in a major state of emergency.

Right now they're at a level 4, which means extreme conservation measures have been put into place. At issue is the water level in Lake Sidney Lanier, metro Atlanta's main source of water, fed by the Chattahoochee River.

What gets my fires burning is that no one talks about or thinks about conservation until the situation is super dire. They've got 3-4 monhts o fwater left and now they're talking about shutting down car washes, but they're not sure because well, loss of business, etc...Okay, it's a sensitive issue and nobody wants to force workers out of a job, so....put them to work enforcing the new water restrictions!!!! Train car wash workers to do something else and give the business owners a hefty tax break and get them to open up a different kind of business. I mean COME ON.

Water is always an issue. We can't live paycheck to paycheck, so to speak, when it comes to the liquid that sustains life. Nobody should be allowed to water lawns. Ever. Period. End of story. People should landscape their gardens with LOCAL plants and grasses, especially of the drought-resistant variety. Otherwise, your house should sit on a plain old pile of dirt. If nothing will grow there without a hose, then it shouldn't grow there in the first place.

Alright, I could go on an on, but just to prove my point about how nearsighted people are, here are the last two paragraphs from the relevant article in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. These should have been the FIRST two sentences:

"Our culture has to change," [...] "We have been a water-rich region all of our lives, never having to worry about water.... The attention that is paid to water goes away as soon as we start having rain again.

"We're going to have another drought after this one," [...] "When we can't guess, but we can be assured we'll have another drought that's actually worse than this one.... With that in mind, our planners have to start looking at this in terms of how many more families, how many more businesses, how many more gallons of water can we allocate out of the Chattahoochee River."

Sources: Truthout.org and ajc.com

Tremenda Fletera (a.k.a Skeeza)

Yo, this takes me back to my high school days in Miami in the early 1990's. Mellow Man Ace's Mentirosa. Alaba'o, man--I can't believe I didn't find this on Youtube sooner. And just so you know, it's SO Miami. It's got Spanglish galore (yup, I used to talk like that, mixing words here and there) and it's got telenovela drama.

Have a listen. You should listen all the way para que puedas agarrar what the lady says.

Cojanlo suave, people.

GORE, UN: GREEN PEACE PRIZE

Okay, so by now you all know that Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, which he shares with the UN 's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). Yay. A way to continue bring added attention to climate change is always a plus, right? Take the Live Earth concerts--okay, so they sucked up a bunch of electricity and were all about celebrity endorsements, but trees need Cameron Diaz and Sting as much as people do, right?

It's REALLY difficult for me to feel wholeheartedly happy for Gore and the UN Panel for SO MANY reasons. First of which is the fact that Gore is wealthy, and yes, he's got a big mansion, flies in jets, drives around in fancy cars (or gets driven in them, pardon me), and while he's doing more than most in his income bracket to ensure that his carbon footprint is dutifully filled in, his celebrity obscures the hundreds of activists who regardless of their wealth live below their means in order to ensure a healthier planet.

On the other hand, he's a climate ambassador, and he's getting tons of good work done increasing awareness of climate change from the bottom up--a philosophy which explains his use of celebrity and his decision to donate his share of the Nobel money to the Alliance for Climate Protection, whose mission is "to persuade the American people — and people elsewhere in the world – of the importance and urgency of adopting and implementing effective and comprehensive solutions for the climate crisis" (from their website).

As for the IPCC, I want to keep this brief, so look it up yourself: study after study has found the IPCC's temperature and sea level projections to be too conservative, if not downright naive. Again, how great that climate change has such prominent leaders behind it, but how sad that those mascots don't represent the cutting edge of environmental science and activism.

A friend of mine gave the award news it's proper political twist. This morning she texted all her friends with the message: "Al Gore got the peace prize! Oslo REALLY hates W." Most sentient citizens of earth do.

How about YOUR 2 cents?

You Can't Stop the Music

This poor lady now owes multi-million dollar record companies a total of $220,000 in copywright infringement fees for having downloaded songs from the internet and allegedly having also shared those songs with others also via the internet.

YIKES!

In an informal pole I conducted amongst co-workers and friends (totalling about 20 people) only one claimed never to have downloaded songs illegally off the internet.

DOUBLE YIKES!

Jammie Thomas, a single mother, will, unless she wins an appeal, be paying this for the rest of her life. Is that fair? Fuck no. What about everybody who ever made a mix tape for a friend in the 80's or who burned a CD for a loved one in the 2000's? That's copywrite infringement also.

It's the Recording Industry Association of America vs. The People of the World. Aren't piraters just a scapegoat for a money-grubbing collective of millionaire producers and record labels that are gonna die out soon anyway?

We should fucking NOT buy any albums for a period of time. Have rolling boycotts of music stores (on and offline) and see what they do.

Sources: AP via Yahoo news, CBS News online

Fasten Your Seatbelts

It's bumpy already. The United Nation's emergency relief coordinator, Sir John Holmes, calls this year's tally of climate related emergencies a "mega disaster." His office is responsible for channeling international funds to help countries with emergency relief for things like earthquakes, floods, etc.

Sir John suggests the planet is well into the first lines of its Dear John letter. Self-destructive creatures that we are, humans have opted to break up with millenia of relative climate stability and have hit the sack with the unpredictable, fiesty Climactica Changeus. Floods, droughts, mega hurricanes--WAY more orgasmic than the same old predictable seasons.

Sources: Duh, open your eyes, it's all around you, and guardian.co.uk.

This Land Is Your Land, But Not Your land

As a little follow up to my post yesterday, here's more to think on in regards to legal and illegal immigration.

Apparently it's illegal to fly a foreign flag above an American one on a flagpole. So this bar owner in Reno, Nevada broke the law (probably unknowingly), by flying a Mexican flag on top. A vet decided to tear down the Mexican flag and conflict ensued. The best part about this article are the comments, and I've excerpted a couple in case you don't have time to click the link. The shocking thing is how much everyone's harping on the fact that this guy is latino, even though according to the news source he's a lawful US citizen. Which just goes to show how prejudiced the commentators are. Read on...

I was so happy that someone finally decided to stand up for Americans. The way the hispanic community disgraces our flag is horrible.

Next time they decide to march at the federal building make sure immigation is there, because it's only the illegals that demonstrate.

I would love to meet that guy and shake his hand. God Bless Him.

Rebecca Walker, Reno

Not that she's generalizing or anything. No. Hispanics disgrace our flag and our flag is so representative of who we are as a people that if it gets placed beneath another flag we'll be destroyed. Gimme a fucking break. I smell such a witch hunt brewing because white gringos are getting antsy that they're getting outnumbered. Not that there isn't truth to the problems in overpopulation that an influx of immigrants helps create; but don't we have better things to accomplish than ensuring proper placement of a single flag in Reno? Are we THAT enslaved to symbolism?

Here's another goodie:

I support the veteran who removed the American flag with his knife.

They don't deserve to get it back after illegally placing the Mexican flag above ours. If charges are brought against the veteran for theft, I anticipate a firestorm of protest.

This is disgraceful!

Ralph Weir, Carson City

Source: Channel 4 KRNV.com

Chertoff says Immigrants are DIRTY!

According to Homeland Security Chief, Michael Chertoff, illegal immigrants crossing the US border with Mexico are an environmental nuisance, much dirtier and damaging than the hundreds of miles of fencing his agency is having put up between America and Mexico. Immigrants may be environmentally bad, but Hummers aren't, which is why we should park thousands of hummers in Mexico so that illegals can drive over here safely and in an environmentally sound manner. Then they can leave their Pepsi cans, Poland Spring water bottles, and empty Dorito bags in the hermetic safety of their vehicles instead of littered along our desert.

In all seriousness, he points out that people crossing litter the desert with bottles, cans, clothes, plastics, pee pee, and caca. OH MY! First of all, he should visit any one of our national parks and he'll see much of the same. Second of all, he's using this argument to support "The Fence." Probably he hopes that liberal-minded folks who oppose the fence will buy into his pseudo-environmentalist argument.

It seems Americans have begun hunting illegal immigrants. I predict the witch hunt will get alot worse, especially if the economy busts from increased oil costs and/or climate change starts taking a bigger toll. Illegal immigrants have become America's scapegoat.