Coverage of me and other train wrecks: my mama, subway nut jobs, sex and the environment.


Pop It!

Okay okay okay. The subject is Poppers.

Yes, they take what would just be a boring old orgasm to a meditative, cosmic experience out of this planet. Seriously. The poppers heighten the orgasm and next thing you know, you feel like you're connected to the entire planet.

If you don't already know it, a few sniffs of poppers makes your sphincter open up to lengths and thicknesses you once could only dream of. It makes impossibly-sized dicks and dildos completely feasible AND deliciously soothing. In short, it makes your ass hungry. Ladies, if your man wants to do you in the butt and you're afraid of the pain, trust the gay boys on this--wrap your nostril around a bottle of popperliciousness and sniff your way to anal heaven.

And then there are the visions. Goddamn those poppers make sex out of this world. It's the closest thing to sex on Ecstacy, not that I would know about such things. One of my favorite popper-fuck visions came when I was doing myself in the ass with a nice long dildo. I was feeling the popper-high and pounding my ass, and I had a smile on my face from ear to ear. As I orgasmed, I felt my soul reach out of my body as though it was a mass of lithe roots, writhing and pulsating. The roots merged with all the roots of all the trees in the earth. Together this mass of tangled roots gave birth to every plant and flower. And I could feel in my gut the longing a plant feels for the sun, and the happiness that comes with absorbing its rays.

Have I ever had an orgasm like that sober? No. But I've come close. The trick to amazing SOBER orgasms is in the breathing. The problem with breathing-centered orgasms is that if you're with somebody who is not into focused breathing and meditation, then you're not gonna get far. It's easier when you're having sex with another person to just snort the poppers and get the "out of this world" sensation. The breathing-centered orgasm is easiest, I find, by myself.

Now, if any hot yoga papi out there wants to take me on for some au naturel tantric sex, bring it on, baby, just leave me your email and let's chat it up.

My brand of choice for poppers, by the way, is Jungle Juice Platinum. It goes straight to my ass.

Wanna know a little more about poppers? Do a fucking google search, you lazy ass! Or you can click here to start your research.


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