Coffee

For several months I hadn't had any coffee. Then for the last two months I started drinking this dark Sumatran blend every morning. Whatta way to live--I mean that's luxury right there.

Then today I didn't have any caffeine at all.

Do you ever wanna rub your wrists against a cheese grater? That was today for me. All day. I was salivating at the appliance section of Bed Bath and Beyond: so many ways to chop myself into indistinguishable bits.

Or I could just have some fucking tea.

Where are all the public service announcements warning people about caffeine? There should be some.