Coverage of me and other train wrecks: my mama, subway nut jobs, sex and the environment.

3.05.2008

Spring Skin

Here come the calves. Oh New York City is warming up again and people are showing their skin. Today on the E train was a ball-of-dumb wearing shorts. It’s too cold for shorts, but damnit if I didn’t stare at his calves for an uncomfortably long amount of time. It’s all I could look at on the entire train. Reading A People’s History of the United States was out of the question. It was all about dum dum's calves. Dumb for wearing shorts when it's too cold, but God bless him for being such an idiot.

His calves were out of shape, medium thickness, pale brown, and as hairy as a pubescent boy’s chin, and damn damn damn--after the sexlessness of winter, I wanna fuck those calves. Oh yeah. Lube them up and rub my dick all over them. Kidding of course. Of course. Of course.

This time of year, one exposed body part is all it takes.

Happy almost spring, New Yorquinos!

Love,

The Calf-Master

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