Easter is Love and Understanding

Of course on Easter Sunday mama called. I was worshiping my inner self at a Yoga class, though, so my phone was off. In her lovely message she said:

Alex I was calling to say hello and for you to have a happy day on this day of resurrection when our Lord Jesus Christ died for you--

Click.

I couldn't listen anymore. I just couldn't. Don't preach in voicemail messages, people. Just don't. Any parents out there reading this, don't preach. Don't leave messages for your 32 year-old children telling them what to do, what to eat, how to behave or how much Jesus loves them. Your children already blame you for all their problems. Don't make them hatechu.

Or maybe your kids wanna be kids forever and they're into that preachy shit and you like to enable them. There's nothing wrong with enabling another consenting adult. Last night I bought a homeless man a bottle of wine. It was good wine.

And by the way, only zombies rise from the dead. Don't let Jesus in your home, he'll bitechu.