Train Manners

We can’t say excuse me anymore on trains, even if we’re trying to get past someone, even if we step on someone’s toes. Nope. Any kind of speaking would involve an interaction of the sort that may lead to an unsightly exchange of emotions such as anger and frustration or worse—joy and fraternal love! Life goes in more smoothly, more efficiently, if absorbed in recline from a comfy seat as if it were projected before us on a two dimensional screen. In the time it takes to push a button life should change to suit us.

It’s better not to speak with strangers on a train; let them entertain us or provide us the comfort of background noise, which reminds us of unborn life inside our mothers’ quilted wombs. If the strangers become annoying, it’s best to push past them or turn away. If they speak to you don’t speak back or anything could happen! And think of the time it would take to speak words and listen to words and be spoken to and perhaps to be handed some words for which you do not have a prepared response. That kind of stress could occupy the rest of your day as you replay the moment over and over figuring out what you should have said. No no—be silent and trudge onward in life. Words are inefficient buttons.