Coverage of me and other train wrecks: my mama, subway nut jobs, sex and the environment.

6.26.2006

SUCK hot DOGS, NOT succulent COCKS!!!

There are two kinds of seats on New York City subways: sectional and individual. The individual seats are a relic of our slim past. Found only on older trains, these seats are indented so they hug your butt and back. The indentation creates a ridge between your seat and that of the person next to you.

The problem with the individual seats is that most New Yorkers can’t fit in them because most New Yorkers are simply too large. More than half of New York adults are overweight or obese.

The sectional style of seating accommodates more body types because there is no standardized seat space limitation. It’s like sitting on a long bench; sometimes more commuters fit in a section, sometimes less, depending on their size. Still, as New Yorkers grow, space on the trains shrinks. This is by no means a state of emergency, but it is a sign of larger troubles, namely, health problems. The last statistic I remember hearing is that half of Americans lack full-time health coverage, yet more than half are overweight or obese. The fact is, the “obesity epidemic” is most prevalent in poor neighborhoods where there’s also a more prominent lack of health coverage. Catch my drift? Lots of middle-aged and older adults with weight-related health problems are gonna be in a shitload of trouble.

Clearly, weight isn’t the only factor contributing to the (un)healthiness of folks in poor neighborhoods: increased pollution, lack of health education, prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases, and other factors all play a roll.

But recently New York City Councilman Joel Rivera, chairman of the health committee, announced a proposal to limit the number of fast food restaurants in specific neighborhoods of New York City, especially the boroughs. His plan targets poor neighborhoods and focuses on schools in those neighborhoods. His goal? To increase the health of New York City children by limiting their access to crappy consumables. Out of every four New York City elementary school students one is considered obese.

Of course, there are loud and powerful critics already chastising Rivera for hurting business or for creating a proposal that in the end won’t solve the problem because families will simply travel farther to get to the restaurants. One convincing critique declared that money should be spend educating kids on how to eat, not just rezoning New York.

Not long ago, the city changed its zoning regulations to prevent porn shops from opening within a certain distance from schools. Even then, there is now a limit as to how many porn stores can be open and how much of their merchandise can actually be porn (many of them have resorted to putting I heart NY shirts and hats in the front of their locations and porn in the back). Few people objected to this rezoning. There was no doubt in people’s minds that kids should be kept away from porn. And yet, it wasn’t as if more than half of adult New Yorkers had become sex-crazed perverts. It wasn’t as if one out of every four elementary school kids had started making underground sex films. So why was it so easy for the sex shops to be minimized but so objectionable for the fat shops to be controlled? Why? Because America is still plagued by a sex-obsessed Puritanism. Masturbation is deadlier than malnutrition, semen kills more than toxic mayonnaise, vaginas are more satanic than heart-stopping oil-dripping burgers.

3 Comments:

Blogger midwesterntransport said...

>vaginas are more satanic than heart-stopping oil-dripping burgers<

I don't know about anyone else's vagina, but MINE certainly is. :)

4:28 PM

 
Blogger belledame222 said...

Wow! I've never run across a Jenny Craig evangelist before.

same initials i guess.

well, we all have our personal hells we run afeared of.

4:38 PM

 
Blogger Gucci said...

Jenny Craig Evangelism? Brilliant. We need to shame people into eating right, oh yes we do!

But seriously, it's so moronic to me that this guy wants kids to be well-nourished and that anybody would protest but that nobody thinks it's absurd to shelter kids from true knowledge about sex. This might be a good time to invoke the film/novel CARRIE (for the second time this week).

I mean if we just stopped feeding our kids bovine growth hormones that make them descend into the pit of puberty at, like, 7 years of age, then it would actually make it easier for cons to shelter the wee ones from their willies. So, if you think kids shouldn't learn about sex or have sex until they are 18, then put them on a vegetarian diet from the time they're 5. Then we can raise an army of ascetic herbivores that will turn America into a new Jerusalem. Amen.

5:08 PM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home