And sometimes...

...the other thing I do is I read articles in the New York Times ('sup Times!), about natural disasters in other parts of the world and I wish with all my heart that those people in that part of the world weren't suffering, that I could somehow take away their suffering and cast it upon us right here in Manhattan, USA. Like, I know we had 9/11 and that was all deadly and stuff, but it made people good for a while. It made people care. Like people actually looked at each other in the street and smiled because they were like, "Hey brother, I survived this and you did, too. Let's make peace in our lives. We have so much to be thankful for. Enjoy your donut."

But now everyone's a bitch again. This is why people who suffer deeply are really, really nice. And I want people to be nice, so I would gladly take away the tsunamis and the quakes from the people in other countries and I would give them to America. If I was God, but like God as a man living in the States, that's what I would do. I would give people something to be truly sad about so that they can realize that life's cool and stop being so cunty.