Coverage of me and other train wrecks: my mama, subway nut jobs, sex and the environment.

7.09.2008

Freaky Singleton Strikes Again! Mayor Bloomberg Declares: "Not enough therapy in NYC to fix this catastrophe!"

I am a friggin' freak. Last night at a rehearsal I got so upset that I completely shut down, stopped talking and had pissy face on. AND I couldn't look anyone in the eye for fear of snapping.

Pissy face makes everyone uncomfortable. A couple of castmates asked me if I was upset with them. I wasn't, but couldn't articulate what was pissing me off. Really I just wanted to throw a fit in a corner and cry.

Then rehearsal was over. I got on the train home and realized "oh, I'm pissed at myself for not having had a 'perfect' run-through of the show. I messed up a bunch of times and now I hate myself. This makes total sense. But now everyone thinks I'm mad at them. I'm not. I like them; I just don't like myself." Ah perfection, my ultimate goal in life--for everything I do to be flawless as a 19th century, ceramic Japanese tea cup.

Crazy Only Child Syndrome strikes again.

Let's see, I've got a whopping $2,000 to my name. How much therapy does that buy? Probably not enough.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although I'm not an only child, I can totally relate to pissy face. I've had people ask me if I'm upset when I'm not, it's just my regular face!
What else should we shoot for other than perfection? I mean really? Are there people who wake up in the morning and say, "Man, I hope I do such an average job today."?????

4:01 PM

 
Blogger Gucci said...

Wait, so your regular face is pissy because you're ALWAYS striving for perfection?

Damn, Nadia, you and I are such children of immigrants, let me tell you. The first generation is always frought by the need to work all the time and the desire to achieve perfection. We need a brain masseuse.

9:33 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home