Train Pimping

You will inevitably have something shaken into your face while on a New York City subway train. Pamphlets, newspapers, index cards with tragic stories of deafness and poverty that beg you for a few spare cents. This morning it was a newspaper. The man was giving them away. He would shake the paper in front of the passengers to catch their attention. One day, when I'm horny, I'm gonna walk down the aisle and waggle my dong in front of passengers' faces. Someone's bound to accept it.