Meat Mama
Mama is notoriously anti-vegetarian. It’s incredible the bias against a vegetarian diet. She has always been one to ask if I’m eating well, but since Rey (my bf) and I have been together, she’s afraid I’m a closeted anemic. It’s gone beyond her thinking a lack of animal is bad; she thinks greens are evil.
Who can blame her? Those rascally vegetarians are always up to no good.. During the communist revolution in Cuba it started becoming harder to find meat and chicken and fish and there was rationing. So vegetarians, since they’re DENYING themselves meat, are fuckin’ commies. And if you’re living in the land of plenty you should strap on your capitalist bib and eat all the roasted animal parts in sight. She doesn’t think of vegetarianism in exactly those terms, but her view of it is definitely colored by Castro.
So last week I had an all out case of the runs, coupled with intense nausea and intestinal cramps. Doc said I had a parasite, which you get from eating animal flesh. So I got myself some good ol’fashioned parasite killer and blasted the suckers. Not quite sure what I ate that made me sick, but since Last fall I’d started chicken and fish again. Not that I ever STOPPED eating those things, mind you. I simply refused to eat them OUT, at restaurants, because I have a long history of falling prey to microscopic stomach creatures. A couple of years ago I chose to avoid all animal flesh when eating out. And since my bf is a vegetarian, and we only cook vegetarian meals at home, I was eating a mostly vegetarian diet with exceptions here and there when a clean-handed friend would prepare some chicken for me at their home.
Since December, however, I’ve been lax about my “only home-cooked animal” rule. I started eating chicken and fish out at restaurants and of course Gaia slaps my ass with a case of parasitic runs. Oh, it was gruesome.
When I told my meat mama about it, she said: “It’s the grasses you eat.” No, mamá, it’s from meat. “No. Those grasses come from Mexico and Chile and they need to be washed well because they carry parasites.” Uh huh. Maybe they carry illegal immigrants, too.
posted by Gucci at 5:20 PM
3 Comments:
Once I was fortunate enough to be witness to a loopier-than-usual-even-for-him ramble from one of the WELL's notorious frootbats, on the subject of how communists were lazy and effete, whereas Ayn Rand was a Man of the People. Something. Anyway, in the course of it, he had a rant about Kermit the Frog as a key part of the Decline of the West.
So now I'm thinking: hmm, maybe there *is* something to this whole green=commie business. It's Not Easy!
9:28 AM
Your mother is right. You shouldn't eat like a little bird. The whole anti-vegetarian movement is very important for, well, you know.
http://www.cafepress.com/antivegetarian
2:44 PM
To Mr./Mrs. Anti-vegetarian bla bla,
Where to begin? The website you include is as trashy as talk radio. Why do you need others to eat meat and advertise it on their shirts? You are in the majority, you know, so please bring down the defenses. It's unnecessary. There aren't any vegetarians in power affecting legislation that is anti-carnivore, as the website you represent states. Last time I checked, McDonald's was still around the corner.
If you're a fairly young person though, I guarantee that in your lifetime you will hear more and more about global warming and, consequently, about the moral imperative of individuals to reduce their impact on warming. A vegetarian diet is one of the best ways to lower your share of carbon emissions. It's good for the environment and therefore good for YOU.
Oh, and FYI, my bf and I both eat more like cows than birds.
Toodles,
Alex
5:30 PM
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