Bush Baby

Last night Bush Baby spoke. I know, it's such a treat, right? Not! The speech is here if you can stomach it. What's really fun about it is the storytelling. You wall wanted him to pull out of Iraq, well he's pulling out SOME troops all the while he's SPINNING the reduction in forces, claiming the reason for it is due to his, er, I mean, America's success in Iraq. His hand must be tired from patting his own back so hard. poor Bush Baby, it's hard work being President.

My ultra favorite quotation from the speech is:

The principle guiding my decisions on troop levels in Iraq is return on success. The more successful we are, the more American troops can return home

I mean, shit, the more AMC theatres I visit the more points I get on my AMC MovieWatcher card, the more free popcorn I get. Buy into the war and the war will be over more quickly, people. Work hard, soldiers, and you can accumulate enough frequent flyer miles to get out of Iraq.

Ugh, you know, I seem to remember taking a really large dump in 1999, and I thought I flushed it all down the toilet but it seems the turd escaped and went on to become president.

Here are more lovely excertpts to discuss:

In Iraq, an ally of the United States is fighting for its survival. Terrorists and extremists who are at war with us around the world are seeking to topple Iraq's government, dominate the region and attack us here at home. If Iraq's young democracy can turn back these enemies, it will mean a more hopeful Middle East and a more secure America.

Remember how when America was a young democracy, the gangs of Boston used to blow up the gangs of West Virginia, and the Meninites used to decapitate the Baptists over in the Midwest? Remember?

To call Iraq a young democracy is at once condescending and delusional.

And finally:

our success in meeting [our] objectives now allows us to begin bringing some of our troops home.

The positive side to all this? He's on the defensive, big time. Unfortunately it's becoming more and more apparent that we'll be in Iraq through the end of his terms in office.