Out of the Dark

You can learn a lot when you have a 10-inch dildo up your butt. Last night I was playing with my ass a bit and--wait..."a bit?"...hours. I worked my way up to the 10-incher. Actually I think it's a 12-inch one, although I haven't actually measured.

There I was, dildo in my butt when I got to thinking. Deep deep thinking thanks to the pot I'd smoked (okay, okay, and it was mixed with a little salvia divinorum, which makes everything meditative). Deep thinking, deep penetration. They went hand in hand...or, er, hand in hole or whatever.

I realized that anytime I focused on my worries my sphincter would tighten up, and more importantly my colon and my lower intestine would clamp up. It was thanks to the dildo that I realized this because it aggravated the sensation of the tightness. So when I'd let go of the worries or focus on my breath...utter relaxation all through my intestines. Oh no, I'm such a loser I need a job--tight. Ahhh, what a breezy night--loose.

It makes complete sense, but realizing it was like this big bang in my head--like WOW, I learned something about my body--COOL!. My self-help book: Into the Hole and Out of the Dark: a guide to enlightenment from the bottom up.